So the other day I decided to do a little rework of the throw pillows on the living room couch. Wait, let me rephrase that, I snapped. I just couldn’t take the amount of throw pillows that had amassed on virtually every horizontal surface in the house. We’re talking 8 on the couch, 2 on each chair and a whopping 18 on the bed. Sitting down wasn’t something that was done with ease, it had become a game of Tetris.
For every pillow taken off of a seating area I needed to find another place to put them. By the time I was done going through this exercise I was so tired that I just wanted to go to bed, but I wasn’t about to fight that battle. So like I said, I snapped. I started to take throw pillows off the couch, chairs and bed and hide them. I put them in the garage, the cabinet under the sink, I even stuffed a couple inside the piano. They actually created kind of a nice muffled bluesy sound. I cut the number of pillows in half and could finally relax without having to brave the anxiety inducing ritual of pillow placement. That was until my wife came downstairs from her office. She saw the lack off additional cushioning and she blew a gasket. Her: “You stupid Fuc_er, what have you done with my throw pillows?” Me: “Um what, uh the throw pillows, yeah. I thought we could use a new look….You know more minimal.” Her: “Put them back. NOW. They bring me joy.” Now, this kind of conversation has taken place forever. Cave-people probably fought about the collection of decorative twigs and branches they put on their seating stones. Somehow the situation really never got solved and now these little poison puff balls have the power to spark more heated discussions than politics at Thanksgiving dinner. I mean, seriously, what's the deal with throw pillows?
Men and women tend to approach this issue like they're navigating a minefield of down-filled explosives. It's like we're trying to solve the Da Vinci Code, but instead of ancient secrets, we're deciphering the optimal number of throw pillows for the sofa. Is there an optimal number? Is it based on the Fibonacci sequence?
At the risk of sounding sexist I do think that generally women seem to think that a couch is not complete without a pillow arrangement rivaling the gardens at Versailles. They've got pillows in every shape, size, and color known to mankind. Well, womankind.
Now guys, guys are a more simple kind of creature. For the most part, all we’re looking for is the bare essentials – a couch, a TV, and delicious ice-cold beverage. But throw pillows? It's like trying to explain quantum physics to a goldfish. I like to think I have a pretty good sense of style and a decent kind of spatial awareness. Working in advertising and design for 30+ years I developed a pretty good eye. I even redesigned our kitchen and it turned out damn nice if I say so myself. But throw pillows? What purpose do they serve?
So, after my wife dressed me down for my decorating stupidity, I picked my chin and self worth up off the floor and put each and every throw pillow back in its rightful place. I even went out and got a couple of extras in the hopes of regaining some kind of dignity. Not sure if it worked, she still just gives me kind of an evil-eye when I move a pillow to sit down.
I’m sure we’ll come to a compromise at some point – a reasonable three to four throw pillows. Enough to add a touch of flair without turning the couch into a fluffy fortress. And if not, then I will just suck-it-up and embrace the idea that throw pillows can be a visual feast for the eyes. A garnish on the plate of your living room. The parsley of interior design – nobody really knows why they're there, but they do add a certain je ne sais quoi.
